A hallmark of a healthy mental state is our ability to experience a wide range of emotions. This includes subtle degrees within similar emotions. As an example of what I mean by “subtle degrees;” do you know someone (or are you that someone) who goes right from seeming calm, “go with the flow” to being really upset, flying off the handle, having anger outbursts? 

A common goal couples might approach together has to do with how each partner gives and receives feedback. A gold standard for relationship health can be summed up by the following example: when your partner gives you feedback, do you receive it in such a way that it’s a helpful notion that helps move the relationship towards its shared goals? Or, is it received in such a way that it feels like a criticism or tear down - more likely to prompt defensiveness and lashing out than draw the two of you closer together?